How to write the 160-character note

Every card has three lines of text: who it is for, who it is from, and a message of up to 160 characters. The names get 32 characters each. Links are not allowed in any of them. That is the whole canvas, and it is plenty.

The one rule

The sound does the joke. The note does the warmth. Write the thing you would write in a real card, cut it in half, and let the pfft handle the rest. If the note tries to be funnier than the sound, both lose.

The default message is "A little something to brighten your day." It works because it is sincere and the sound is not. Aim for that gap.

Four ways to write it

1. Say the real thing. "Proud of you. Genuinely. Sound on." The sound undercuts it for you.
2. Pretend it is normal. "Just checking in." Then the sound.
3. Set the scene. "Imagine I am standing right next to you." Let them finish the thought.
4. Blame the character. "Sir Toots insisted." You are only the courier.

Examples by occasion

Each of these fits under 160 characters with room to spare.

Birthday

• "Happy birthday. I got you the one thing you cannot return."
• "Another year older. Another year of this. Love you."

Thank you

• "Thank you for last week. This is the most sincere thing I own."
• "You saved me. Here is your reward. It is not a good reward."

Just because

• "No reason. No occasion. No regrets."
• "Thinking of you. Unfortunately, out loud."

Apology

• "Sorry about Tuesday. Please accept this small, loud gesture."
• "I was wrong. This is me clearing the air."

New job

• "Congratulations. Play this in the office at your own risk."
• "First day. Deep breath. Not that one."

Halloween

• "A little boo. A big poot. Happy Halloween."
• "Something wicked this way comes. It is this."

Christmas

• "Wishing you peace, joy, and questionable air."
• "All wrapped up. Nothing held in. Merry Christmas."

Monday

• "It is Monday. Here is the sound Monday makes."
• "Coffee first. Then this. Then the week."

What to leave out

• Your friend's secrets. Anyone with the link can read the card. Keep it fit for the group chat even when it is not going there.
• Links. The builder will not accept them, and the note is better without a destination.
• Explanations. "This is a fart card" is already known by the second second.
• More than one joke. The sound is one joke. The note can be the other, or it can be kind. Not both.

Then pick the sound

A warm note under The Long Goodbye reads very differently from the same note under Silent-ish. Write the note first, audition the sounds second, and let the pairing decide. When it feels wrong, it is usually right.